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Fast and Blonda-ous
Fast and Poofi-us-ous is a 2010 Wanda E. Coyote and Blond Runner cartoon. This was the first cartoon to feature Wanda E. Coyote and Blond Runner. It set the template for the series, in which Wanda E. Coyote (here given the ersatz Latin name Catchtilius Vulgaris) tries to catch Blond Runner (Accelleratii Incredibus) through many traps, plans and products, although in this first cartoon not all of the products are yet made by the Acme Corporation. Running Gags A major running gag throughout the cartoon series is the fact that Wanda E. Coyote is continually defeated by her own gadgets, often obtained through a fictitious mail-order company called "ACME". The name of the company is ironic because of its meaning the best or the highest in quality. Plot Edit Introduction: The title sign is shown first, and the card is blown away when the Blond Runner whips by. The pair whip past the camera to change the credits. The camera zooms to the Blond Runner and the scene freezes to show the Latin name she keeps for the first three cartoons: Accelleratii Incredibus. He continues in strides, then moves into superspeed and briefly pulls up the road. Wanda E., on a cliff, watches with binoculars as the Poof Runner tears across the roads. She rolls up her sleeves as her name is shown: Catchtilius Vulgaris. Wanda grabs a net and a cage, and rushes down the mountain and onto the road behind the Blond Runner. However, the moment she tries to get the Blond Runner, the fairy dashes off. Wanda E. stops and drops her catching equipment (and her mouth), then paces as she thinks of a new scheme. 1. As the Blond Runner approaches, Wanda E. is hiding between large rocks with a steel trash can lid. She holds it out and the Blond Runner stops just short, causing Wanda to wonder why she didn't hit it. Wanda moves the lid and glances at the Blond Runner, who promptly sticks her tongue out and speeds away. Wanda drops the lid and gets ready to follow after her, but the Blond Runner returns as quickly as she left and holds out the lid, which Wanda runs into. The Blond Runner runs off again. 2. Wanda E. takes delivery of a boomerang and throws it over her hiding place, but is quickly hit by another boomerang, thrown by the Blond Runner directly behind her. Wanda E. brims with rage and moves to catch her opponent, but before she can move, she's hit by her own boomerang. 3. Wanda E. now paints white lines on the gravel and brings out a ''SLOW: School Crossing'' sign. Wanda imitates a schoolgirl and prances in front of the sign, but the Blond Runner blasts by, resulting in Wanda holding onto the sign with her arms and swinging around it. The Blond Runner returns with the wig and a sign that says "BLOND RUNNERS CAN'T READ" before leaving the scene. 4. The Blond Runner is now spiraling up another mountain, while Wanda is preparing a rocket-launcher contraption. Instead of launching towards the Blond Runner, however, the rocket launches straight up into an outcropping, lodging Wanda inside. 5. Wanda, now miffed intends to squash the passing Blond Runner with a massively huge boulder. Wanda reads her blue print saying, 1. PULL OUT KEYSTONE 2. ROCK FALLS 3. BLOND RUNNER 4. BLOND RUNNER SQUASHED (HA-HA!) When Wanda pulls the string out from under the boulder, its massive unsprung weight causes the boulder to reverse its center of gravity in mid-fall and squash its owner. 6. Having had enough of directly trying to defeat the Blond Runner, Wanda draws a curve in the right lane of the desert's main road, and continues it across into a rock face. She then paints a lifesize painting of a tunnel on the face, hoping for the Blond Runner to smash into it; instead, the fairy runs directly through it. Annoyed, Wanda tries to follow, but flattens herself against the rock. Wanda gears up for a second attempt, but the Blond Runner runs back out and knocks Wanda down again. 7. Wanda leaves a stick of TNT covered in dirt in the middle of the road and connects a detonator to it, but when she pushes down on the switch, the detonator explodes directly on Wanda. 8. Now, Wanda resorts to her best friend, the Acme Corporation. She dons an ACME Rube Goldberg Machine, ACME Anvils and ACME Sandwiches. She placed Sandwiches inside mixed with the 8 anvils. The Blond Runner burns rubber and stops to the Rube Goldberg Machine. She pressed the button # 8 and, Wanda is chuckling hoping for her to be smashed. But instead, 8 Sandwiches fell and she zooms off with the bag. Annoyed, Wanda pushed the huge red button marked "DANGER" and a whistling sound was heard. The Blond Runner held the "X" above Isabella's head as the 8 anvils came falling down and crashes on her head with a clang. The Blond Runner zooms off as Wanda E. gears up for a second attempt but falls down again. 9. Wanda now puts together a meat grinder, a refrigerator, and an electric motor in order to move by electricity, and skis downhill towards the road, narrowly missing the Blond Runner. Wanda continues across the desert floor and off the edge of another cliff. Wanda's expression changes slowly as the power begins to run out of the refrigerator, and then she falls to the ground once again. Ice from the refrigerator is ground onto Wanda's head, who holds up a "MERRY XMAS" sign. 10. Wanda orders an ACME Kite Kit and 1 ACME Super Bomb, Wanda E. leaps in the air several times in an attempt to go airborne, but soon runs off the edge of the cliff she's on, and she falls to the ground and her own bomb explodes on her. 11. Having tried most everything, Wanda now puts on some of ACME's jet-propelled tennis shoes, and discovers she can now move at the speed of the Blond Runner. Happy with herself, Wanda returns to her catch base, but then the Blond Runner turns up directly in front and beeps. A chase ensues, but when the dust clears, it's revealed that the Blond Runner didn't even move! Wanda turns around and returns to the Blond Runner, infuriated. Both of them start on the "dragstrip" a second time and it's Wanda who accidentally initiates the false start. Wanda's eyes pop out and she initiates the chase again. Both rivals come to a circular elevated roadway, where they circle around and around, constantly changing directions, until they meet in the center stretch. The chase continues down the road until the tennis shoes tucker out. Having failed, Wanda has barely recovered when she sees a sign displaying "SHORT CUT" and follows it, looking to intercept the Blond Runner. 12. Wanda hides behind a billboard, and hearing the beeps, steps out into the middle of the road with an axe. Before she can swing, what was really a large bus flattens Wanda. The Blond Runner fans herself from the back seat, pulling the "THE END" shade as the cartoon ends. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Trivia The short will be shown in the revival, The Wacky Fairies Category:Episodes Category:Fanmade episodes